End of another year: We are blessed!

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm finished with graduate school finally! 

Todd is doing so well!  I had to fill out papers for his Social Security Disability Review and write down all the dates, places, tests, biopsies, ER visits, hospitalizations, etc.  It hit me anew: What a rough year this has been!  

While recalling these struggles, I couldn't help but cry, but I'm so thankful he is alive and having a good quality of life. Things looked so bleak January through April.  He had so many CBCs and transfusions during those months. He was so weak and tired. I was so tired. Our financial resources so thin. How did we get through it: Faith, Hope, and Love. 

I can't begin to thank so many of you for your prayers, help, donations, gift cards, food, gas cards, and those faithful friends  who called and visited us whenever possible, like Pastor Chuck Moore from Hillside Chapel. Such a faithful servant of Christ. And friends like Darsie, Dana, Pam, Vicki, Donna, Chris and Lynda, and my parents and family, who went beyond kind words and stepped in with their time and hard work.  Oh, and we have 3 amazing Kids who have been loving and supportive even though these hard times have shook up their world. Love you Abby, Lewis, and Ellie!

I noticed on my "Time Hop" app yesterday, that I was thanking whomever was sending us gas cards anonymously, and I'll be blessed, they still are sending them a year later!  We just received one this week!! How blessed are we! And how much love and faithfulness do these servants of Christ have?  

A friend sent me an IM today offering  me encouragement. She encouraged me not to loose my faith, that God has a plan. I have to admit I have had more doubts than ever before in my lifetime, but the faith and encouragement of others, that I know God has been able to use, had sustained me. 

We have seen so many ups and downs, shared in the struggles of our friends  in their own fight against cancer, even loosing our friend Rick to cancer on Todd's birthday on May 9, 2015. Knowing others have suffered relapses and set backs too, like Jim and Jeff. Sometimes you wonder if it is just a matter of time, but then we have times where we can rejoice with those friends like Ron and Nancy, who have had successful transplants and remain disease-free!  

I was fearful after Todd's hospitalization in  October with the cold and pneumonia, not to become to complacent in our fight. Yet, once more I feel optimistic that he has come this far and we will continue to fight and live our lives to the max. 

At this Christmas Season, I'm so happy to say we are blessed and continue to look forward to a healthy new year with our family. We are anxious to spend some special time together with our children and family. 

Merry Christmas and may God bless your new year! 

How to Stay Positive: What we have been reading.

Many of you have been so happy to see Todd in such good spirits.  Not only is this because of his faith in God, and his belief in the healing power of prayer, but we both have been doing some reading to keep our minds from wondering off or getting negative!

So, here is a quick annotated bibliography:

1.  The Bible: of course!  I've been finding comfort in the Psalms.  But, its all good!
 
2.  The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  This book is great for teaching yourself to control your self-talk and your thoughts.  There is great spiritual insight too.  While he refers to God and Jesus' teachings among others, you can apply his suggestions and see how much they are in harmony with scripture.

3.  The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson.  Our church had read and studied this collectively at one point, so I decided to re-read it.  It has reinvigorated me in how to pray and expect answers!

4.  The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.  Teaches to believe that good things will happen and to expect them.  The principles here are in harmony with what scripture teaches us, "You have not, because you ask not."  Having the Faith of a mustard seed, etc.

5.   Miracles by C.S. Lewis.  Need I say more?  For those of you who didn't know, C.S. Lewis, an avid scholar, was originally an atheist (since the age of 15), but became a Christian in spite of himself-unable to fight his conclusions that there is a God. He explores the existence of miracles in this book.

6.  Seeing the Joy in Affliction by Michael Shelley. This professor and Christian cam to speak to our congregation years ago. He was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor but God had taught him so much that he wrote this book and used every opportunity to share it. I bought the book then even though I couldn't relate to it at the time; but it is a blessing to me now. 

If you have some suggestions, please feel to comment to this post!  Thanks!

Update: Post-Vidaza treatment round one

The last day of Vidaza chemotherapy done on Tuesday, May 13, 2014, was uneventful. Todd did not get the Aloxi that day and was of course plagued by nausea, and digestion problems.  He barely ate or got out of bed the entire day.  He did take  his prescription medication for nausea, which did help, but it can also cause the dizziness and sleepiness he was experiencing in addition to the nausea. 

I, on the other hand, was busy as a bee.  I decided to help with the yard work and flower-planting that Todd had started before treatment.  For those of you who don't know, we are having a big graduation party for our daughter at our house on June 1.  We've rented a tent to have put up in the back yard for the party.  Having people over is often a big motivator for doing projects around the house that need done!  We are no exception to this! 

So, I planted flowers around the yard most of the morning and afternoon.  I finished out the afternoon and evening by doing some party shopping, grocery shopping, making dinner, doing laundry, doing dishes, and for some unknown reason, cleaning out the refrigerator and then taking out the trash. 

It doesn't take long to realize how much one person has to do when the other is out of commission.  So, I have learned to empathsize with other caregivers.  Not only are you trying to make them eat and stay hydrated, but you have to pick-up their share of chores.  I know I can speak for my fellow caregivers when I say, that none of this is done begruggingly, but instead out of a heart full of love. However, it can be exhausting none-the-less.  I hurt so bad going to bed that night that I couldn't move!  I was sunburned, my hips hurt, my shoulders hurt; you name it!  (I'm getting older you know!) 

While most of these things are already part of my normal job duties as a mom, I don't describe them here for sympathy or as a cry for help.  I just want to acknowledge that I have come to appreciate and empathize with those who do care-giving for their loved ones day-in and day-out for months and years at a time. 

I appreciate those who offer their help and encouragement.  I know the time will come when we will need to "call-in" those offers for help, but I have to admit it is hard to accept help even though the offers are there.  I guess it is because you realize everyone else you know is already just as "maxed-out" as you in the course of their own every-day lives.  Kids need driven to practice and homework needs done. Laundry, dishes, and meals are never ending.  Tournaments, birthdays, and graduations are all exciting parts of everyday life you want to experience!  Cancer is just such an unwelcome intruder. 

You realize that the good health of yourself and your family is more important than anything.  Without that, it makes it hard to enjoy any of these wonderful daily experiences of life.   On the flip-side, it helps you appreciate everything you have the opportunity to experience, and you decide not to let cancer stop you from doing them.  You learn to fight the cancer and not let it take these things away from you!

We may have the biggest and hardest part of our journey still to come.  Todd messaged his transplant doctor today asking what to expect next.  She was out of town, but sent a quick response saying that they will likely do the bone marrow biopsy in the first week of June to see how his MDS has responded to the first round of Vidaza.  She then mentioned doing a second round of Vidaza after that. (There has to be 21 days between each round of Vidaza). So, I'm not sure when and if the transplant will be scheduled at this point.  She said she will contact us next week when she gets back in town to discuss it. 

I will be sure to keep you all updated once we know. Thanks for your prayer and support.  Rest assured I will get to the point when I will ask for and accept your generous offers of help!  Just keep reminding me that they are there.